After I wrote my post last night, I started reading other peoples blogs. I came across someones blog that I went to highschool with that is on the HCG diet and is going to school to be a baker (If I understood the blog right). The whole time I was in awe that she could have enough will power to make chocolate and be on the HCG diet. That takes some serious will power. However, it then forced me to recall that I had 5 unopened boxes of Chocolate Almond Clusters I was saving for Christmas gifts for my dad. I swear, no joke I started shaking. I was starving. And alls I wanted was the freaking chocolate almond clusters! haha Oh my golly sue sally! I stayed laying in bed, thinking about all of the reasons why I should give up. I was telling myself it is impossible to live off of 500 calories...trying to give myself an excuse to eat up the yummy chocolaty goodness of the chocolate almond clusters. So I come downstairs, and start to justify myself to my husband. Thank God he talked me off of the ledge. I told him to throw the stupid chocolate away, which he did...or he hid it-either way I don't want to know where it is! Oh boy! What is wrong with me? After reading everyone elses blog I feel like I'm the only one that felt like they were starving themselves to death the first day haha.
HOWEVER!!!! I am so thankful I made it through the crazy chocolate withdrawl, with out needing to be institionalized because when I weighed myself this morning I had lost 4.1 lbs! Wooooofreakinghooo! So far I am doing better today then I was yesterday. Though its 12:37pm and I haven't eaten yet. Keeping busy has kept my mind off it. I'm going to go get ready to eat my lunch now. Maybe saving the calories for later when my body is used to eating goodies will help.
Only 38 days left...I can do anything for 38 days, right?
Me
Friday, November 12, 2010
Thursday, November 11, 2010
VLCD-1 No Lie Zone
Well, I'm not going to sugar coat it. Day 1 of the VLCD was really difficult for me! I didn't cheat and I know I'm now one day closer...but PHEW, I hope it gets easier then today! The two load days made me think today wouldn't be so bad because I felt a little nauseas-therefore not hungry. Not the case today. I just felt a little shaky, had a headache, and well...I'm hungry haha. I'm sure 50% of it was withdrawl from sugar. Hopefully in a few more days I will have made it through the hump.
One thing that did make it easier for me was downloading the HCG ap on my Iphone. It makes it really easy to keep track of everything you need to keep track of. I also cooked my meat for the next 4 days and put them in ziplocks in their individual pre-weighed serving sizes.
It's 4:30 and I just had dinner. I have one more fruit left that I can have. I think I may try to go up to bed early tonight and watch some TV to keep my mind off of wanting to go find some chocolate. Hopefully the scale will say something nice to me tomorrow to help keep me motivated!
One thing that did make it easier for me was downloading the HCG ap on my Iphone. It makes it really easy to keep track of everything you need to keep track of. I also cooked my meat for the next 4 days and put them in ziplocks in their individual pre-weighed serving sizes.
It's 4:30 and I just had dinner. I have one more fruit left that I can have. I think I may try to go up to bed early tonight and watch some TV to keep my mind off of wanting to go find some chocolate. Hopefully the scale will say something nice to me tomorrow to help keep me motivated!
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Load Day 2-Frustration!
Why can't people just be supportive? Today was day 2 of my load days. I told 2 people about starting the diet. The only two that I have told to be exact. Both tried to talk me out of doing the diet. One said, DON'T DO IT! The other said I was crazy. What is wrong with people? Anywho, enough about them...Day 2 went fine. I feel sufficently loaded! Crackle cookies, pumpking bread, Chicken Alfredo (Olive Garden), and a Turkey/Bacon/Avocado Sandwich, then ice cream for dessert. I feel sick! The strange thing was, in my mind I wanted to eat the food I ate because I knew I had to...but, I wasn't feeling hungry at all! I hope I feel the same way tomorrow.
I went and did my grocery shopping for the start of the VLCD. I think I may need to do some research on some recipes. But am so excited. I'm fully expecting headaches in the beginning and hopefully after next week it will be smooth sailing. I'm going to do it this time! I wan't to go shopping for cute clothes and be happy with how I look in them!
I went and did my grocery shopping for the start of the VLCD. I think I may need to do some research on some recipes. But am so excited. I'm fully expecting headaches in the beginning and hopefully after next week it will be smooth sailing. I'm going to do it this time! I wan't to go shopping for cute clothes and be happy with how I look in them!
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Load Day 1
Well, I guess I would call it a successful load day. It didn't start off great as I wasn't feeling well, but as the antibiotics started kicking in I was able to force myself to eat a little more as I was feeling better. By the end of the night my son and I made some delicious chocolate crackle cookies....mmmm. I will miss those faithful little cookies who helped me cope with my stress! Looking forward to my last load day before starting the real deal! I'm not quite feeling prepared. I will need to do some shopping tomorrow so I can feel ready.
Monday, November 8, 2010
The Drops...
I haven't tasted them yet, but I have them in my possession now! I went to the naturapath today to go pick up the drops so I could start day one immediately. Unfortunately, the naturapath was closed so I had to go back in the afternoon. That's ok, but it means my day one really won't start until tomorrow. I'm so eager to get started on my way to weight loss. That and the sooner I start, the sooner it will be done haha. I'm trying to get into the mindset that this time I will stick with the diet. I will finish it...I will see my goal...
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Getting Prepared Mentally...
It's a cozy, warm (inside) Sunday and all weekend I have been thinking about the HCG diet. I have a lot of friends on Facebook that I once went to High School with that are doing it. I find myself being envious of the 30, 40, 50 plus pounds they have lost individually. I still have some things I need to do to get prepared, but I thought if I started this blog that perhaps it would keep me motivated to keep going. The horrible thing I find myself thinking right now is, should I wait until after the holidays? How will I make it through my two most favorite holidays eating only 500 calories? I am worried if I am thinking this now, before I have even started... am I setting myself up for failure? I have only been successful at "dieting" one time. I lost 45 lbs about 4 years ago before my husband I went on our first solo vacation with out the kids. When we got there we splurged and I never looked back. I think I put the weight back on faster then I lost it.
When my husband and I got married I weighed 145 lbs. Back then I thought I was fat. Oh how I wish I wouldn't have beaten myself up about that back then. Hindsight 145 lbs was the perfect weight for my frame. After our wedding we knew that I would have problems conceiving. Months and months of fertility drugs, thousands of failed pregnancy tests, and a failed pregnancy resulted in myself eating my sadness away. After a couple of years we decided to do IVF, which resulted in the worlds most adorable boy/girl twins (totally biased of course). My weight after the twins were born was about 190 lbs. Which, wasn't too bad for a twin pregnancy...if I would have lost it. Then our biggest nightmare happened. Our precious little girl that we had tried so hard to conceive was sick. We spent months upon months, and soon years in and out of hospitals while my husband stayed home with her twin brother. Living in hospitals and Ronald McDonald houses didn't make for the best diet. The stress, didn't make for the best diet. The most delicious grilled cheese sandwiches in the universe located at Seattle Children's Hospital seemed to help my heart cope while my baby (I say baby, but it started when she was 4...she will always be my baby of course) was fighting for her life.
Now, I'm pretty consistently ranging around 212-215 lbs. My life isn't as stressful for the moment. Our daughter has her ups and downs with her health, but for this beautiful moment in time she is stable with pain. She is not with out issues, but now that things have been put in perspective for us we consider her stable. It's time for me to reclaim myself. I have given myself over to my family, to my stress, to my anxiety and now it's time for me. I had no idea I would be crying at this point in starting this blog. Yikes, there is much more emotion inside of me then I thought-or that I have pushed away. But, maybe this is what I need to be successful this time? I doubt anyone will actually "follow" little me (or should I say big me-HA!) but maybe working through this is what I need!
Tomorrow I will go and get the HCG drops and I will begin phase one. It's a little bit scary thinking about giving up my one stress reducer. I guess I will have to find something to replace it with. I wonder what that will be? Thanks for reading-if your reading.
Warmly,
Twin Mamma
When my husband and I got married I weighed 145 lbs. Back then I thought I was fat. Oh how I wish I wouldn't have beaten myself up about that back then. Hindsight 145 lbs was the perfect weight for my frame. After our wedding we knew that I would have problems conceiving. Months and months of fertility drugs, thousands of failed pregnancy tests, and a failed pregnancy resulted in myself eating my sadness away. After a couple of years we decided to do IVF, which resulted in the worlds most adorable boy/girl twins (totally biased of course). My weight after the twins were born was about 190 lbs. Which, wasn't too bad for a twin pregnancy...if I would have lost it. Then our biggest nightmare happened. Our precious little girl that we had tried so hard to conceive was sick. We spent months upon months, and soon years in and out of hospitals while my husband stayed home with her twin brother. Living in hospitals and Ronald McDonald houses didn't make for the best diet. The stress, didn't make for the best diet. The most delicious grilled cheese sandwiches in the universe located at Seattle Children's Hospital seemed to help my heart cope while my baby (I say baby, but it started when she was 4...she will always be my baby of course) was fighting for her life.
Now, I'm pretty consistently ranging around 212-215 lbs. My life isn't as stressful for the moment. Our daughter has her ups and downs with her health, but for this beautiful moment in time she is stable with pain. She is not with out issues, but now that things have been put in perspective for us we consider her stable. It's time for me to reclaim myself. I have given myself over to my family, to my stress, to my anxiety and now it's time for me. I had no idea I would be crying at this point in starting this blog. Yikes, there is much more emotion inside of me then I thought-or that I have pushed away. But, maybe this is what I need to be successful this time? I doubt anyone will actually "follow" little me (or should I say big me-HA!) but maybe working through this is what I need!
Tomorrow I will go and get the HCG drops and I will begin phase one. It's a little bit scary thinking about giving up my one stress reducer. I guess I will have to find something to replace it with. I wonder what that will be? Thanks for reading-if your reading.
Warmly,
Twin Mamma
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